Where's the wedge?

So here I am, strolling through the shoe aisles of Nordstrom's Rack enjoying my Friday afternoon and rewarding myself with a shoe purchase. "Just one sensible espadrille to add to my closet," I told myself sweetly, not knowing the HORRORS that awaited me:

This was the ONLY sensible espadrille among the 7 racks in my size. It was also $120. Next.

Pink Satiny Satan! Why is this necessary.

Because I love to construct shoes out of items I find after high tide.

Seriously? Did someone make a contest to incorporate as many textiles as they could in one shoe?

Not technically an espadrille, but the winner of "ugliest show of the day." Also winner of highest retail price at $160. Thanks, Stuart Weitzman for materializing my need for a wooden/leapord print/lucite stripper shoe at my local suburban Nordtrom's Rack.