Navigating Grief vs. Happiness

My life has been so full and satisfying lately. I am in love with my school program; every day this semester is so challenging and continues to push me to my limits. There are times when I think, "But I don't want to have an emotional breakdown at 9:30 in the morning!" Then once my scene is finished, as I'm wiping snot from my face, I think, "that was awesome!" I'm learning how to navigate myself through real, and sometimes very scary, emotional waters. 

Most of my scenes this semester have been pretty steeped in grief, and something that I'm working on is how to shake those emotions off when the work is done and resume my normal, extremely happy daily life. One of my teachers said that being an actor is knowing how to swim out into the deep and knowing when to come back. 

Perhaps the most rewarding feeling is knowing that I'm growing as an actor....and the proof is in the pudding. I am happy to say that I have been offered a show for after graduation! I'm not broadcasting the details as of yet, but I will be in a world-premiere musical in the fall. I'll get the chance to collaborate on a brand-new, spankin' role with a creative team I respect and love working with. Words cannot accurately describe the feeling of excitement and relief in having a project lined up for the future. Taking a year off from working in order to go back to school did not hurt my career. *Phew.*

Sometimes the evil insecure voices in my head taunt me with, "You'll never work as an actor again;" and then I tell the voices to shove it. 

I felt so in-control of myself and calm in the audition room. I just focused on having fun and being myself - and that booked me the job! I was hearing all my teachers voices in my head telling me to focus on the words, focus on the work. 

I cannot wait to hit the audition scene running in May!